When I first spied those two blue lines on the home pregnancy test I vowed three things:
- I would read poetry to my kids, the same way my father did with me.
- The library would be a favorite destination.
- In Walmart I would say no to candy and toys but always, always YES to books.
No matter what, my children would be readers. I wanted to infuse in them the joy and wonder I have always found in stories and words and short lines with abundant white space. I wanted them to have memories like mine: flashlights under the covers; books read so many times the covers were tattered and taped and re-illustrated, if need be; fervent pleas to Santa for the next book in the series; the satisfaction at age 14 of spending my hard-earned babysitting money ($25) for a giant box of romance novels at a neighbor’s yard sale which I proudly brought home and showed to my parents (who to their credit, didn’t cringe or sigh, but actually smiled as I proceeded to spend my summer hours devouring those bodice-rippers – and yes, those of you who have read my poetry, might be saying, why yes, that explains a lot about Irene Latham); the encouragement I found from my book-loving father who brought home various treasures from business travel, such as an envelope addressed to Charles Lindbergh, and said, “write a story about that.”
Eighteen years and three sons later, I am sorry to report that I did all those three things I vowed, yet I have been an utter failure when it comes to creating people who love books. Not a one of my sons currently reads for pleasure, and my youngest (age 12) tells everyone he doesn’t just dislike reading, he hates it. (Thank you, dyslexia.) For a while this made me eat bags of Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips and stare longingly at the girl on the schoolbus who always missed her stop because she was reading.
And then I realized: the love of reading is not ever going to be universal. Nor does it need to be. My sons find the same kind of pleasure I did in things other than reading, like film and music and photography and computer games. It’s still humans telling stories, only the mode of the telling has changed. And isn’t the love of story the ultimate goal? The physical act of reading is merely one of the ways to reach that destination.
Yet I needed to connect with young people passionate about books and reading, in a way more personal than can be achieved during a school visit. And that’s when I remembered my nieces and nephews. Yes, that’s when I became that aunt who sends books for birthdays and follows niece JuliAnna’s progress on HARRY POTTER with texts and tweets and sends her autographed books from author-friends and fellow panelists at book festivals. That’s when I started reading Shel Silverstein at bedtime when the wee ones came for overnight visits. That’s when I helped nephew Alex get started on a sequel to my novel LEAVING GEE’S BEND, currently titled (by him) THE RETURN OF MRS. COBB. And that’s when I started exchanging by mail a collaborative story with 9 year old Matt – much like my father did with me.
Here’s the latest installment, as written by Matt, in a story called GOINDEILIER’S NEW JOB:
She spilt her pasta with applesauce into Erics salad. it turns out pasta with applesauce is a good salad dressing. “Harriet you’re a genius said Goindeilier.
To call it “paying it forward” is actually far too generous. It’s selfish, really. And I intend to keep right on doing it just as long as I can.
Irene Latham is the only Nerdy Book Club member in her current family of five, and the only one of the five kids in her family of origin who inherited the reading gene from the King of all Nerdy Book Club members, her father, who has for a lifetime read a book a day. She is the author of two middle grade novels, LEAVING GEE’S BEND and DON’T FEED THE BOY as well as two volumes of poetry THE COLOR OF LOST ROOMS and WHAT CAME BEFORE. Her children would be more impressed if she made movies. www.irenelatham.com
I feel much better after reading your post. I too wanted my children to be readers like me. My son never struggled. He read non-fiction and now he will read to his little ones but is not an avid reader for pleasure. My daughter struggled. She made sure her daughter loved books and she occasionally reads. Like you I ply my grandkids, nieces and nephews with books. It is my students, I find the great pleasure of turning into readers and writers. Thanks for making my day.
I love that you are paying it forward with your students! I think we put a lot of pressure on our kids, just because we want so much for them to experience what we’ve experienced. Therefore we put a lot of pressure on ourselves! Thanks so much for reading.
I wasn’t an avid reader. One of the best things my father did was read the Sunday morning comics in funny voices. He was brilliant at that.
Once I could read and give my characters voices, the whole world of reading opened up.
Yes! The comics! And how wonderful, your father. What a gift. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this post. I’m glad to hear I am not the only one whose child is “reluctant” to read. She loves to have books, but not read them. Maybe someday…
I have often said to my kids, you just haven’t found the right book(s) YET. More for me, than for them, I think.
Hope dies last… thanks for reading.
I also have a son that when in school hated to read, but as he got older I found the problem was he hated to read fiction stories. He loves nonfiction and technical reading. He is an avid reader now but his pleasure reading is reading technical manuals and how-to books. He loves reading about topics he has passion for. There’s a lesson in this for all teachers and teacher/librarians.
Julie, it’s a wise parent/teacher/librarian who recognizes maybe fiction isn’t the thing… but there are plenty of other options! My oldest will pick up a nonfiction book from time to time — I see this more as he gets older and wants to educate himself. Thanks for your comment.
Although I love your post, I’m going to play devil’s advocate. You say “isn’t the love of story the ultimate goal?” To, me that isn’t the ultimate goal. Reading also helps us function in society–and there are lots of different kinds of reading, not just novels. Take a look at this video from Marc Aronson: “http://www.marcaronson.com/” I just love it. And it might resonate with you since you have three sons.
Thanks so much for the link! I appreciate your viewpoint. It reminds me how personal reading is. One of the things I love about story, in whatever form, is that engaging with a story is an act of empathy, which yes, helps us function in society.
I love the little notes you shared! Go, Irene! I am trying to pay it forward when I am tutoring. It can take a very long time to get someone comfortable enough with reading that they have the opportunity to love it.
As I was taking my son to school today I realized that he’s worn book-related shirts two days this week (today’s was Skulduggery Pleasant, earlier it was a Hogwarts shirt). Glad that he’s spreading the word
Oh, I’m glad he’s spreading the word, too.
I have seen a lot of Hunger Games references lately, too… t-shirts and jewelry. Part of me hates the commercialism, and the other part is thrilled. Thanks for reading!
It took a long while for my son to get there & he is now an ‘older’ avid reader, on an IPad! My grandson too is the active boy you describe, loving sports & games & being with people. I love the way you say that telling stories happen in varied ways, Irene. But also, I enjoyed your connection with your nieces & nephews. What a joy it is to read those words from Alex & then see ‘your turn’. This is a good story, too!
Linda, it has been so fun to interact with Alex and the others in this way! I think maybe there’s less pressure and some magic when it comes from someone other than a parent?? Just a hunch. We really do need fairy godmothers in the world, don’t we. Thanks for reading!
thank you This is such a current debate that rages on in my mind. I think to myself, all the advice I give to parents about raising a reader and yet my own son does not embrace reading for pleasure. But we soldier on. I love the phrase you used about different media to tell a human story. My sister is the photographer in the family and always puts herself down that she is not a reader, just cannot sit that still. but her keen observation skills and her eye for a good photo shot make her our keeper of the family memories. visual literacy will be so key in the future, I tell her she is ahead of her time. thanks for your perspective!
Ellen
Yes, Ellen, your sister is a storyteller whether she calls herself one or not! And yes to soldiering on. Thought I think It’s wasted energy to expect that everyone in the world is going to love reading, and that we can make it so if only we do x, y, z. We’ve got to be more open-minded than that and see the ways in which our kids ARE engaging and count those successes. Thanks for reading!
So much love here! Enough to make me teary. Thank you.
Thank you, Jeannine — nothing more humbling than parenthood. Thanks for reading. xo
What a thoughtful and important post. My brother wasn’t an avid reader unless it came to hockey books and then he devoured them. So I learned early that not everyone has to have a book with them at all times. When I ran my book clubs I had avid readers and sometimes readers and a couple of readers who hated reading…if that makes sense. I told them it was okay to not like it so much, that they were welcome to join book club and
maybe every now and then we’d find a book they’d enjoy-plus, I encouraged them to talk about and look for books on subjects they loved like illustrating, monster trucks, magazines on science and astronomy and so on. Now, was there a wee part of me trying to turn them into avid, where’s my next pile of books readers. Probably, lol. But still. Literacy development and love of the arts and developing creativity comes in so many forms I love using book club formats to foster it.
Way to go on being the aunt who gives the books!! And thanks again for such an inspiring post. Authors rock!!
Thank you, Deb! How much do I LOVE that you welcome readers into the book club even if they don’t read the book?? My youngest son LOVES stories. We kept the bedtime reading tradition alive until just this year when we switched to audiobooks. But hand him a book? Uh-uh. LIke you, I still hand him things and hope one sticks. But I’m okay now if that never happens. He probably engages with the world in ways that I don’t. I appreciate you stopping by!
Beautiful post! Thanks. I raised 1 reader and 1 non-reader. But you are right, I just never articulated it before. My non- reader is a very thoughtful and insightful movie buff. He seeks the off beat and then loves to discuss. So not so different from my reading. I am a volunteer in schools selfishly satisfying my “book lust” (Nancy Pearl) with any student who will answer my constant question……”whaz ya reading’ ?”
Some kids prefer listening to books rather than actually reading them. Others just read online, magazines, news. As a former classroom teacher and now private reading specialist and educational consultant, I can’t help but wonder if some school experiences, teachers, and practices are counterproductive to raising a lifelong reader. Some high schooler kids I worked with told me they have absolutely no time to read for pleasure on top of homework, tests, and assigned readings. Then there is the beloved book report that kids remember so fondly.
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