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Family Stories by Donalyn Miller
I began the morning with goodbyes. The conference was over and it was time for all of us to go. After a quick hug from my friend, Katherine, she left for a writing retreat and I left for the next leg on a two-week trip.
My friend, Paul offered to drive me to the Indianapolis airport on his way home, so I climbed into his Expedition and we left. Paul and I don’t see each other that often, so we enjoyed catching up—chatting about our families, what we were writing, and the books we were reading. Paul pointed at a little notepad in the cup holder, “Write down any books you talk about, so I can take a look at them later.” The two-hour drive flew by and before I knew it, I was curbside with my bags, hugging Paul goodbye.
The busyness of mindless travel tasks kept me distracted as I navigated the airport. Check my suitcase. Show my ID. Shoes off. Shoes back on. Find the gate. When I settled into my airplane seat, sudden loneliness caught me sideways. By day’s end, I would be 2,000 miles away from my sweet man in Texas and our grown baby girls. Boxed in by strangers on all sides. No one loves me here.
Pain demands to be felt, and all that.
OK, enough. You can’t fall apart, Donalyn. Pull yourself together and get your book. You know what to do.
Reaching into my bag, I took out Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson. Discovering that everyone (OK, maybe five people) had read it and loved it, I begged Colby to loan me his copy. Another friend, Jillian power-read it during the conference, so I could take it with me. I felt a little guilty about wheedling Colby for it because he never tells me no, but not that guilty. It’s Jackie Woodson.
As I started reading, It was OK that I didn’t have anyone to talk to because Jackie was teaching me how to listen. Lord knows that’s a lesson I still need to learn.
Falling into the book, I wasn’t lonely anymore. Jackie’s family welcomed me in and I sat at her grandmother’s kitchen table for the next few hours. I could smell the collard greens cooking and I wondered if her grandmother used a little bacon grease in her greens like my Nanny did. I cried when Jackie’s mom pulled the leaves off a willow switch and whipped her brother. I could clearly see my Nanny’s willow tree. It made me miss her. I would get a switch for her right now if it meant I could be with her one more time.
Jackie catches words, blows on them, and floats them on to me.
As I read, a silver thread flowed out of Brown Girl Dreaming, and twined up my wrist to my chest—connecting Jackie’s family to me and making them part of me. Following Colby’s scribbled brackets around lines and folded page corners like messages for me to find, he was with me in the book, too. That thread connects me to Jackie now, but it also connects me to Colby, Jillian, and everyone who will ever read Brown Girl Dreaming.
When I reached Portland, I met up with two of my Maine friends, Justin and Melissa. Justin had finished Brown Girl Dreaming and Melissa was still reading it. She admitted that the book was calling to her, and she planned to go back to it after dinner. We talked about what we loved about Jackie’s story, and we were excited to pass this story on to children.
This is my reading family—the storytellers, the story travelers, and the story keepers. The people who bring stories to life, the people living in those stories, and the people who keep those stories alive. Every story I read connects me to someone, and these stories become my family stories to remember and share.
When a loved one passes on or passes through our lives, all we have left is the stories. Told at the kitchen table. Made up under a willow tree. Passed hand-to-hand in a book. These threads connect us in an endless web that stretches to infinity.
Donalyn Miller has been a fourth, fifth, and sixth grade English and Social Studies teacher. She is the author of two books about encouraging students to read, The Book Whisperer and Reading in the Wild. Donalyn co-hosts the monthly Twitter chat, #titletalk (with Nerdy co-founder, Colby Sharp), and facilitates the Twitter reading initiative, #bookaday. You can find her on Twitter at @donalynbooks or under a pile of books somewhere, happily reading.
Nerdy Book Club 
Absolutely lovely, Donalyn. Thank you for capturing so perfectly what it is like to travel away from family. There is a family of teachers I love being a part of at conferences, but I often long for home. I am glad you will be surrounded by people who love you in Boothbay this week.
Now I have to read this book! 🙂
A truly lovely post, Donalyn. This is exactly the sort of connectivity we want to create in our kids, too – the idea that stories bind us together with silver threads. Love that Colby’s notes were there for shared thinking, too. I never write in books because they go straight to my classroom library, and I don’t want to get in the way of meaning my kids will make of the text. But, perhaps I should…
Love to cry first thing in the morning. We miss you as well my love.
OK. So story. STORY. And someone in charge of learning as in DC said no one gives a #$*% about what you think or feel or something like that. I posit that until we read and think and feel we don’t know where we stand on things. A story is so much more than a series of events. Artful use of language as Donalyn so beautifully “Jackie catches words, blows on them, and floats them on to me” captures us, connects us and makes us learn and care and know. Thank you, Donalyn for this lovely story. We should care about each others’ stories.
That line is actually from Jackie’s book. I hoped that anyone who has read (or will read) the book would recognize it and smile:)
:-)…..so, can’t wait to read this……
Lovely words from a lovely person. Wonderful way to start my day!
Beautiful post and another book for the TBR stack. I listened to two of your recommendations on the long drive home — Half a Chance and Absolutely Almost. I got so caught up in Absolutely Almost that I didn’t realize how fast I was going and a big ticket was my reward for THAT! What wonderful stories that draw us into all sorts of families, real and imagined.
Many years ago, a good friend’s husband passed away. She had a house full of family with her for the week of the funeral. The time came to drop off the last person at the airport. On the drive back home, it hit her that there would be no one at the house. She would be alone for the first time since her husband’s passing. She felt a little panic coming on until she remembered that she had the latest Danielle Steele novel that she hadn’t started yet waiting on her at home! I’ll never forget that story. The power of books…..
Donalyn,
Your writing always speaks so directly to my reader’s heart. I, too, find that reading allows me ignore those pangs of loneliness, of stress and worry, even just the mundane tasks if life. Reading is a treat that I give myself-my reward for a day’s work or compketing a task that I don’t love (insert laundry here) Falling into someone else”story snd having it become a part of my story- the connections that reading gives me- not just with a character, but with everyone who has Aldo read the book. This desire to give this to others, especially children, is a huge part if what drives me as an educator. Why wouldn’t I want every child to have this same opportunity? Thank you for once again putting those feelings into words and for sharing them with the world- with me. Safe travels!
Thank you, Donalyn. This post made me achy about an upcoming trip away from family and even more eager to read Brown Girl Dreaming.
Donalyn, I am grateful that you wrote this post, as it so beautifully captures the specialness of this story. I was expecting fomo today, but instead got this, which means I didn’t miss out on experiencing your reading of this book and getting to share in that.
Sometimes, my writing goes where it wants and I’ve learned to trust that. I’m so glad we’re in the same reading family, Jillian. See you soon!
I love the way Jacqueline Woodson uses language. Her writing is as rich and warm as sipping hot chocolate. I can’t wait to read this book!
“Every story I read connects me to someone, and these stories become my family stories to remember and share.” Beautiful. And so true. I’ve heard great things about this book, but this post really makes me anxious to read it!!!
The soundtrack to Brown Girl Dreaming is in my car. Thank you Donalyn for the beautiful post. Thank you Jackie for sharing your childhood. Love how you used certain songs as anchors to time and place
Even away, it helps to have the threads that bind us together. I spent yesterday winding my way home, & thinking of all the good things that happened at All-Write, including hearing you, Donalyn. I know you will add your own special words in Boothbay, as Jacqueline Woodson does in her book. Thanks for the sweet post this am.
Well, that made me cry. Obviously I need to read this book! Favorite line: “As I read, a silver thread flowed out of Brown Girl Dreaming, and twined up my wrist to my chest—connecting Jackie’s family to me and making them part of me.”
Thank you for your beautiful post today, Donalyn. It made me miss everyone I spent time with this past week at All-Write. I can’t wait to read Brown Girl Dreaming soon!
Tara Smith, don’t be hesiant to annotate your classroom library books. I do, and my students love it. Many times my annotations encourage students to start a conversation with classmates, friends, other teachers, etc. From there, connections are often made to other novels, short stories, poems, etc..
What a wonderful post. I have shared Each Kindness and The Other Side with my kindergarten class. Mentor texts that touch my heart and hopefully theirs. Now I turn to Briwn Girl Dreaming. Thank you for your beautiful reflections.
This caught me by the heart immediately – beautiful writing and I am SO going to read this book.
We love thinking about books as companions for when we are lonely. We also love the fact that this book brought back your connections to others. These are such important ideas to share with kids. Thank you Donalyn
I spent my Saturday with my sister telling stories about our dad who passed away in September. Thank God for the stories. They are the balm and the blessing. We tell them through laughter and tears. I too would gladly “get a switch” if it meant spending more time with my dad. Thanks for the great post that captured my feelings right now.
I saw this book and can’t wait until it is released. Thank you for sharing such a heart-felt review!
What a beautiful post. I kept going back to “Jackie catches words, blows on them, and floats them on to me.” It’s such a poignant image. I definitely want to read this book and share it with others in my reading family.
And isn’t that one of the biggest gifts we want for children, too–to feel connected to others through their reading experiences? Books can broaden the circle of who ‘belongs,’ creating and feeding companionship. Happy to be a part of your reading family!
Thank you for this lovely post – it was an inspiring way to start my week. I not only pre-ordered Brown Girl Dreaming but put The Book Whisperer (which I haven’t read yet) at the top of my reading pile and ordered Reading in the Wild.
What a lovely, poetic post. And it makes me extra sad that my parents are not storytellers. I know so little of their lives and their families…I have no connection to any extended family. Don’t even know if I have any living relatives beyond my parents and sisters. And part of the reason I don’t know is I didn’t grow up with stories. And since I don’t know any of them, I don’t make any new stories. Your post gave me some insight into why I connect so deeply with families in my favorite books… Have a wonderful rest of your trip!
Just lovely, Donalyn. Really. And I completely agree–Jackie’s Brown Girl Dream is an absolutely stunning piece of writing. It’s been following me around since I read it.
Wow! I’m not sure there is anything left to be said. It was a lovely, lovely way to begin my day today. Your ability to share in those wonderful words exactly how you were feeling as you read Ms. Woodson’s new book connects each one of us through our shared reading lives, and cements the feelings that make us nerdy book clubbers! Thank you for your elegant and thoughtful post.
The world is lucky to have passionate advocates for books and reading. Thanks for all you do. This is one book I’ve been eagerly waiting to get my hands on–even more so now.
Very touching!
Buying it right now! She is such a lovely person; would love to support her!
So glad I discovered this essay (thanks to what’s trending on Twitter)! You words capture how I feel about stories. Whether “told at the kitchen table, made-up under a willow tree , or passed hand-to-hand in a book, stories are the threads that connect us in an endless web. . .”
Wandering around and found this post. Lovely. I understand that loneliness and how a book can connect us, a story can ring true for us all. And how fun that Colby left behind marks for you to see and feel connected to. I think what I like most about your writing is the accessibility. It seems like you are right here having coffee with me and chatting about books. Did you see my lame attempt at a meme this week? My cat was a book whisperer. http://reflectionsontheteche.wordpress.com/
I haven’t read the book but I will most definitely now. You made it come alive for me. Your words always move me and teach me and hold me. Thank you – what a lovely post.
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