February
23
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Teacher with Tissues: Showing Students How Books Tug at Your Heart by Kathleen Sokolowski
“Are you crying?” one of my third grade students asks incredulously, as the rest of them look on, wide-eyed and silent.
I sniffle, too choked up to answer. I was, indeed, crying, surprised by my emotions as the tears spilled over. Reading aloud Kate DiCamillo’s brilliant book The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, I’d anticipated struggling to control my emotions at a later point in the book, when a terrible tragedy occurs. On this day, though, there was a scene where the china rabbit Edward loses yet another set of beloved friends. I was taken off guard by how much I connected to the characters, Butch and Lucy and especially Edward, their pain becoming mine. And, unfortunately for me and my third grade class, I am not a single tear-rolling down the cheek, dainty type of crier. I am of the sobbing, guffawing, can’t talk variety, which doesn’t bode well when you are the one in charge of reading the book aloud.
They kindly handed me tissues and lucky for me, Mrs. Miller, the ESL teacher who pushes in, spoke while I composed myself. She told the students that sometimes when you read a book, you connect deeply with the story and you might cry. We discussed why I had gotten upset at that particular part and the students shared how they felt about the scene and Edward’s experiences so far. They were more prepared the next time they saw me cry, only a few chapters later. While the students never shed a tear, their emotional responses to Edward and the cast of characters let me know how much the story meant to them. As we reached the end of Edward’s miraculous journey, I felt that our class had taken a journey too. We were a stronger, more close-knit community for having shared Edward’s ups and downs as he learned to be a rabbit who could love. I don’t think my students will forget that their teacher cried heartily over a china rabbit losing his friends, and perhaps that is a good thing. As teachers, we can tell them we love reading and books, but when they see how we ache for a character, that has a power that words alone cannot convey.
Books and stories have always touched my heart, from my earliest days. As a young child, I recall feeling outraged for Horton the elephant, who was faithful one hundred percent, when Mayzie-the-lazy-bird returns to take her egg back in Dr. Seuss’ classic book Horton Hatches the Egg. The egg hatching as a baby elephant-bird helped frame my early views on social justice (and karma.) Reading these types of stories and connecting with the characters helped develop empathy and understanding in a very organic way.
Now, as a parent, I see this when I read to my children, Alex, who is 4, and Megan who is almost 2. When Alex was younger, he expressed sadness for “Huddy Huddy” (Humpty Dumpty) who couldn’t be put back together again. Megan also gravitates to this nursery rhyme, but we have a happier version where bunnies put Humpty Dumpty back together and we all like that one MUCH better. After some creative storytelling from Alex recently (ahem, lying), I told him the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” He was horrified about the boy’s fate and insisted I never tell him that story again. But I see him connecting to the characters he hears about and, in a way, putting himself in their shoes. Isn’t this just what Atticus Finch challenged us to do in the classic To Kill a Mockingbird?
We all know reading is important for so many reasons. I’ve always believed that being a reader helps you find your way in this world. For me, one of the joys of reading is experiencing another’s story and discovering more about myself. When my book club read JoJo Moyes’ Me Before You, tears fell as I contemplated what I would do and feel if was Louisa Clark. Each book I read offers the chance to temporarily become someone else and see the world a bit differently. These characters often change my perspective and I am richer and wiser for having taken part in their story.
My fondest hope, as a teacher and a mother, is to pass on this joy of connecting, growing, and changing from the books we read and the stories we allow to tug at our hearts. A china rabbit named Edward Tulane has forever changed me and hopefully my third grade students, too. I’ve just started reading aloud Katherine Applegate’s Newberry Award winning book, The One and Only Ivan, to my class. I know Ivan, an artistic silverback gorilla living in the Exit 8 Big Top Mall, is poised to be another character that will touch their hearts and not soon be forgotten. Tissues will be nearby- wish me luck.
Kathleen Sokolowski is sadly not Katherine Sokolowski, although their names are strikingly similar and they are both teachers who love reading. From Long Island, NY, Kathleen just graduated to third grade after 10 years of teaching kindergarten. When she is not crying in the classroom, she is telling her 2 young children frightening fairy tales and trying to explain why Humpty Dumpty REALLY should have listened to his mom and stayed off that dangerous wall in the first place. She would cry tears of joy if you followed her on Twitter @MrsSokolowski.
Nerdy Book Club 
I am right there with you- in fact I told my class when we started The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane that I would cry at least once. After the first time, they always asked me if they needed to get me tissues for the next part.
We are reading Ivan too- so far we are not to the crying parts, but having read it aloud before, I know the tissues should be handy!
Thank you! I sobbed while I read it last summer in preparation for the Global Read Aloud and I almost didn’t read it with the class because I knew how hard it would be for me. I really wanted them to have the experience of the GRA and we had a class in California ready to skype with us, so I took a deep breath and embarked on Edward’s journey. So glad I did! It was heartbreaking but beautiful and the students still reference the book months later. How are your students enjoying Ivan? If you want to connect our classes, I would love that!
I, too, bawled like a baby when I read Edward Tulane to a 4th grade class. I felt bad for the kids because they didn’t quite know how to react to my falling apart in front of them. Thanks for your post. I feel better now!
As a high school English teacher I have moments of weepiness depending on the story, the problem is I will teach it three times that day and three times the next dsy. Talk about emotional catharthis!
I used to read The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane to my third grade students. They would present with with tissues each time we would gather to read this wonderful story. I was able to meet Kate DiCamillo at a book signing and as I handed her my books to sign with tears in my eyes I confessed how much Edward’s journey truly touched my heart. Isn’t that why we read?
I wish my children had been lucky enough to have a teacher like you. 🙂
Good Luck with Ivan – I read it last year to 3rd and 4th graders and we all had tears at times. (and I was the long call sub ) Books build strong communities as they pull on our emotions and teach us how to love.
I used to cry each year when I read Flowers for Algernon to my 6th grade students. My 9 year-old son sometimes finds it unnerving when I tear-up during our bedtime story routine (even the Lorax can get me going). But, he knows his mom is a softie. We recently shared a bonding moment as we both openly sobbed at the end of Hachi: A Dog’s Tale. Through the tears, he learns that crying is part of our nature, for both men and women-and there’s no shame in that game!
Great post, Kathleen!
I see nothing wrong with crying in the classroom when it involves having a natural reaction to literature. One of my fondest (though not at the time) memories of being a classroom teacher involved me AND my students crying during Kira-Kira by Cynthia Kadohata. My principal walked into the room as we sat bawling our eyes out and/or comforting one another. While I practiced reading that passage aloud again and again without crying, I couldn’t help myself when I read it aloud to my kids that year. That opened the door (or floodgates, perhaps, would be the better word) to crying during Number the Stars and other books that really resonated with me.
Good luck with your Ivan. Definitely keep the tissues nearby!
When I read Edward Tulane to my first graders, almost all of them wept along with me. Our emotions overcame us. The same happened with Love That Dog and Charlotte’s Web. My fourth graders did not cry (many got emotional); nonetheless, they understood the need or desire for those who would and were moved themselves. One student reread the book as soon as we finished it. It was the first novel he had read in three days he exclaimed! It is powerful when we show them how much books- the power of a narrative- can impact our hearts and minds. We are currently reading Becoming Naomi Leon by Pam Munoz Ryan. Everyday they beg for me to read one more chapter or to be able to take the book home to read ahead. One student read ahead in her mother’s copy of the book while waiting in her mother’s classroom. This is the power of reading aloud as a community and openly sharing our emotional connection to characters and their stories with students of all ages. Thank you for sharing so eloquently and vulnerably.
Love that book! It gets me every time! The next Read Aloud we did was Clementine, which made us howl with laughter at her antics. It was a great spectrum of feelings and how books touch and shape us. I am not sure where, but read some where of how reading and effects the development of empathy.
Our 3rd grade teacher boldly cried her way through all the ‘dog books’ she read aloud to us. And she made sure there were plenty of tissue boxes scattered about. I followed suit as a 5th-grade teacher (though I was scarred & had to avoid most of the dog-based tear-jerkers). I’m grateful to her even now for letting us be fully in the story no matter what.
A Beautiful post! From an incredible teacher and friend. Terrific to see you writing and sharing through your blog post. The interactions, connections, and emotions that we share with our students opens new doors for making reading come alive. So glad you are sharing your joy and passion of reading aloud and teaching experiences.
Thanks for your continued commitment and dedication on so many fronts.
Kate DiCamillo is quite a writer. My roommate had me read the one about the mouse who learns about forgiveness. Wow. You are teaching your students empathy and that is a hugely important skill/value.
I bawled all the way through Edward Tulane and Ivan. Luckily I didn’t have to read them aloud, just for me. I think sometimes a good book induced cry can be cathartic. Good luck with Ivan.
My students know I’m “real” because of the tears. I cannot read Stone Fox or The Story of Jumping Mouse without the tissue box. Using mentor text like these also shows them that their own writing can express those deep emotions – it’s alright to be transparent and real too.
One of my clearest memories of elementary school is Mrs. Gracey tearing up as she read WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS to us–and me and several other students crying silently so as not to miss a word.
There are just those books, that no matter how many times you read them and how much you prepare yourself, the tears are going to come. I wept at the end of ONE FOR THE MURPHYS and thought I had it out of my system. But, toward the end while reading it with my 6th graders, I teared up and had to take a minute to compose myself. They were a little stunned, but in a good way. It happens every time I read aloud RIPTIDE by Weller. Even though I know he’s going to make it, my voice still gets all shaky and I have to take deep breaths! Enjoyed all the comments.
Subbing in a music class, I started bawling over a song. The teacher told me later that she was GLAD I had. She had been teaching the kids that music can move people, make them have feelings to the point where they react. There was a story in some basal reader (showing my age) about prairie dogs and one dies. I cried every time. Edward made me cry, Ivan made me cry, TKAM made me cry. One night my hubby was all verklempt sp? and I asked what was wrong. “I just finished Ivan and I’m emotional.” My opinion is that it’s GREAT for kids to see us cry…being a hyper sensitive introvert, it also shows our introverted kids that IT’S OKAY! The more real we can be in a classroom, the better. Thanks for reading out loud to your class! I just finished Snicker of Magic and think it would be a GREAT read aloud. Take care and keep up the great work!
From a retired teacher who has cried so hard I had to have someone else finish reading aloud–yes, thank you for the post.