Tags
The Trouble With Cybils by William Polking
I should not be talking to you now—I should be reading. I should not be writing this now—I should be reading. I should not be watching this football game now—I should be reading. I have always battled the impossibility of reading everything that matters, and I thought I had a handle on this particular neurosis, but then I became a round one panelist/judge for the Cybils.
The Cybils awards are given each year by bloggers for the year’s best children’s and young adult titles in various genres. Many of you probably already knew this. Some of you probably nominated books. A few of you may have even written nominated books.
Here was my thinking as I stared at a tweet urging those eligible to apply to be a panelist/judge: I meet (minimally) the eligibility requirements, as I review a book a month for Guys Lit Wire; I should become more active in the book blogging social media junta (I often think of the word “junta” while staring at tweets); I think of myself as having discerning tastes; I read lots of books and conference with students over even more titles; I am always looking for more good titles for the classroom library; and I might even receive some free books for said classroom library.
So I applied and thought little of it until I received a message telling me that I had been selected as a panelist. The message ominously threatened me with brusque claims about how many books I would have to read in the next two months or so. I laughed in the face of such rhetoric. You can never read too many books, or have too many books to read. Then the nominations started rolling in and the database kept expanding. The books began to multiply. I am no longer laughing.
I am reading more than I ever have, but I no longer think I read a lot. My efforts thus far have been dwarfed by two of the other panelists, whom I firmly believe must be independently wealthy, Adderall-abusing insomniacs. Things were so bad last week that I considered taking a sick day from school just to lessen my to-be-read pile, whose current size blocks out the sun and affects the tides. And when I woke up on Friday with burst blood vessels in my eye? Clearly Cybils-related Stress Syndrome. Maybe my school would let me use my professional days to read?
How do I rationalize the enormous amount of time necessary to do this? I have talked more with our librarian than ever before about books (and she has been fantastic about finding and holding titles for me). Being a judge has given me access to a database of new YA fiction, increasing my title awareness exponentially. I can tell students that a certain title is on the list, and they are keener to read it because they feel a part of something bigger than our classroom reading community. And my reading street cred with my students has increased. Or not—below is an actual conversation:
Student: How did you get chosen to be a judge?
Me: I applied.
Student: And how many judges are there?
Me: Seven for this category.
Student: So seven people applied?
I am compelled to read books far outside my interest areas (for example: books with pastel color-themed covers), which helps me understand what it is we often ask students to do in school. I feel a responsibility, as the token male representative on the panel (I have a nagging feeling this is why I was chosen) to advocate for titles that will appeal more to boys without discounting titles that appeal more to girls. And I have discussed books online with smart, smart fellow panelist-readers whom I hope I can continue to use as professional resources—their insights humble me every day of this process.
Two things I have learned/relearned/discovered while being a Cybils panelist:
As Andre Maruois once wrote, “In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.”
Do not take home the book about teen prostitution and the book about incest and read them on the same night.
The Cybils are turning me into Sybil, and my personality is fracturing.
I am overwhelmed and enervated. I am energized and excited. I will never again apply to be a Cybils panelist. I look forward to applying again next year and hope I am selected.
I can’t go on. I’ll go on.
William Polking teaches high school reading and college composition. Because he feels guilty about destroying the economy with his lavish salary and benefit package, he also coaches large group speech and girls soccer. His students tell him that he reads like it is his job, to which he gently responds that it kind of is. Feel free to troll him on Twitter, where he can be found @Polking.
Nerdy Book Club 
I think realistic YA is the most intense category–I remember the year I did it, and oh my gosh it seemed like it was one dark book after another, and it got a bit heavy.
Courage! The best part is still to come–December, where the pressure to read eases up, and the really fun discussions begin.
Thank you for the encouragement. The books can be dark, but then so can the lives of our students. I’d reply with more, but as you know, I should be reading.
Oh, how I love this post. I have a million thoughts, but none make sense. I really love this post!
Having a million thoughts and none making sense is basically me during this Cybils process. I would say more, but as you know, I should be reading.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Being a Cybils judge is definitely overwhelming and exhilarating all at the same time! I agree with Charlotte that you are probably in the most difficult category. Hang in there, try to enjoy the process and don’t let it overwhelm you. Remember that you don’t have to finish every book. We don’t even have a 50 page rule anymore; if you’ve read enough of a book to be sure that it isn’t a shortlist candidate, you can put it aside. (Except for serious shortlist candidates in December, which you should try to read entirely).
By the way, you can tell your student that there were way more than seven judges who applied.
Thanks, Sheila. I will pass that message along on Monday.
I’m exhausted just reading about it! Glad you’re on the panel, though. Your POV is valuable.
Thank you. Now must get back to reading.
Much fun and laughter because I’ve only been selected for the second round in January, for poetry, which is often quicker, yet does require re-reading I think. But think of the books you’ll be able to honestly recommend, or not, to your students. Monday morning is probably NOT the time for you to be checking for comments. You should be reading, right?
Yes, I should be. But thanks for your comment.
Pingback: "I am compelled to read books far outside my interest areas...which helps me understand what it is we often ask students to do in school." — Here in the Bonny Glen
HAHAHAAHHA, fabulous and funny post! Just keep reading, reading….
Hi William – this is my first time to visit your site, and this post became an instant favorite. I have been selected as second round judge for the fiction picture book category. I’d probably have a lot of non-sequitur-ramblings sometime early next year, sleeping with a book on hand, and dreaming in pictures – hopefully in bold bright Lane Smith colors. I love the ‘conversation’ with the student in your school – kids and their candor and their darned questions – they hit you right where.it.matters and you gasp for breath.
Well, I have it easier, I suppose – as you would drown more in words as I shall immerse myself in color (unless the books are in monochrome or some such postmodern hoopla). Enjoy your reads!! 🙂
Pingback: This Week’s Tweets and Pins « Waking Brain Cells
Pingback: This Week’s Tweets and Pins « Sites and Soundbytes
I love it, William! I’m also a new Round One Cybils Panelist — for Middle Grade Sci Fi/Fantasy. I, too, for the first time in my life feel like a slow reader. And you’ve hit on it! Definitely those other (three on my panel) readers must be “independently wealthy, Adderall-abusing insomniacs.” And I felt guilty taking a sick day when I really did have a migraine because I knew I’d use it to read, but at the same time was eager to take a sick day because I knew I’d use it to read.
Oh my dear Reader, I am so grateful I got picked to be a first round panelist for the Graphic Novel category. Other than having a less-intimidating reading list than you have, I’m learning a lot of the same things — I’m amazed by the variety. Keep your chin up, lad! You can do it!