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Confessions of a Former “Really Good Reader” by Tobey Antao
There was a time in my childhood when I loved reading. When I was very young, I loved when people read to me. As an early reader, I loved reading on my own. Then, a few years into elementary school, I found something that I loved even more: annual standardized testing. Or, more accurately, I loved the test results, which told my parents and teachers that I was A Really Good Reader.
When you’re a kid, being A Really Good Reader can feel a bit like having a superpower. Teachers talk to you and about you in a way that might make you feel a little superior. Adults think it’s cute that you want to read constantly. Claiming that you can’t put your book down is enough to keep you out of having to just about anything that you’d rather not do. Well-meaning adults might even suggest grown-up books for you as though you are a peer. In many ways, being A Really Good Reader can look like a Get Out of Childhood Free card.
There was one catch to my superpower: I had no idea why I was A Really Good Reader. So, while I was glad to have that distinction, I didn’t know how I’d earned it, or if I’d really earned it at all.
Here’s what I did know: I liked being special, and I didn’t want to lose that specialness.
As a result, my reading life shifted, and not in a good way. My status as A Really Good Reader became more important to me than reading. I got the message that, as A Really Good Reader, I should be reading important, grown-up books, so I put kid books aside and leapt into books written for adults, the more obscure or difficult, the better. Sometimes words, sentences, even entire paragraphs or pages didn’t make sense but, hey, I was A Really Good Reader, right? I skipped over the confusing parts. Sure, it was hard to tell what was going on, but I figured that books about adult life were confusing because adult life itself was confusing. If I were still measuring my reading life by the enjoyment I got from books, I might have been worried that I was getting only a hazy picture as I read, but, as that enjoyment had been already replaced by a need to maintain my Really Good Reader status, I just kept pushing on as the texts grew cloudier.
I don’t know exactly when my thin connection to reading finally snapped. I think it may have coincided with end of eighth grade, when the annual standardized testing ceased and there were no more notices about my fabulous reading skills. It might have been when I was “reading” Tiny Alice and feeling as though I was trying to climb a slick wall of ice, without finding a single foothold. (Only later in life did I realize what I was up against with that one.) Somehow, my superpower was failing me. It was terrifying. Who was I if I wasn’t A Really Good Reader? From then on, my adolescent reading life consisted of nothing beyond obscure song lyrics and notes passed in class.
Sadly, my story is not all that unusual. There are lots of kids (and adults) who believe that they have very little control over how they perform in school or in life: they think they’re either good at something or they’re not. Researchers such as Carol Dweck and Peter Johnston explain how this “fixed view” can be paralyzing: What’s the hope in trying to do well in school when you’re A Bad Student? You already know that you won’t succeed. What’s the point in taking on a new challenge when you’re A Smart Student? You’ve already established your status, and you might even lose face if you don’t perform perfectly on your first try. Besides, having a fixed mindset means believing that things are, well, fixed, and that working hard or asking for help is not just futile, it’s a sign of weakness. This might sound harsh, but then I remember how I reacted as a kid when I found reading hard: I stopped reading. Working at reading was for people who weren’t Really Good Readers. Trying to improve my reading would be admitting that I wasn’t A Really Good Reader, and that was too painful to contemplate.
Luckily for us, Dweck and Johnston have also identified how adults can help kids to avoid this kind of fixed-mindset thinking: they ask us to consider how we speak to kids. Are our words teaching kids to pass judgment, or are they teaching kids that people can learn and grow? For example, when we use criticism or even praise that comments on the kid as a person (“You’re a handful,” or “You’re a really good reader”), we’re giving kids ready-made, fixed identities that could hamper their growth. When our feedback, advice, and encouragement are about the process, not the person, we’re sending kids a message that they are in control of their performance.
It’s this focus on the process, not the person, that eventually helped me to find my way back to reading. I have many reading mentors to thank for helping me to lose my fixed-mindset notions about reading. These friends and loved ones read what interested them, not what that they thought was impressive. Their descriptions of what they were doing as they read—exploring cities they’d never visited, getting to know Thomas Jefferson, learning to program, learning to cook, solving a mystery–were completely unlike my experience as A Really Good Reader. They read for themselves, they enjoyed reading, and they were completely engaged. They never let a worry about their reading ability get between them and a text they wanted to read, even if it meant that the reading was hard sometimes. They didn’t blame themselves when books weren’t a good fit for them. They abandoned books when they needed to. And they never, ever, ever talked about themselves or anyone else as Really Good Readers.
My mentors’ reading lives are aligned with the core of what Dweck and Johnston promote: These readers know that we can all learn from what we read, that there’s always more to read and learn, and that trying to judge who wins the Really Good Reader prize is a pretty tragic way to waste one’s reading life. If we want our kids to be lifelong readers, these are the messages that we need to be sure they are getting, not a message that they need to be Really Good Readers.
Tobey Antao (@tobeyant) is an editor and former teacher who lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and daughter. She is grateful to the Nerdy Book Club for the good work they’re doing in the world and for the opportunity to write this, her very first ever blog post.
A truly wonderful post—-with wise advice that I, as a school librarian, have to remember every day, as I encourage my K-5 students to grow as readers.
As a teacher and testing coordinator I see that message passed all day long by teachers. I don’t have to like Captain Underpants. If I have a student that adores it and will read it for pleasure, I know they are working on their reading. Giving a child a book because the county says they have to read it and not finding something comparable when they don’t like it sets them up for failure. Placing kids in a reading class because they don’t reach a certain goal on the state test is another way we fail our kids. I saw one of my gifted readers last year blow off the test because he was bored. He ended up in a reading class that is even more boring. Placing kids in these “canned reading programs” tells them they are not worthy of “real reading”. I will stop there because I could go on and one.
I’m glad I read this before going to school today. Your perspective will color my thoughts and student interactions all day long and for some time to come. Thank you for these important words.
Great post, Tobey! What a great reminder to respond to our kids about the process so they know they are in control of their reading (and learning)!! Thank you!
One of my grandsons began reading at 2 1/2 years. He is now 6 and reading at a very high level. His comprehension is fairly good.
I am a retired school librarian and became concerned when he and his parents were scorning “baby books” at one point. I am taking the time to introduce him to more picture books that I love and to read “baby books” out loud with him. I do not want him to miss the stages between that are vital parts of loving to read what you like. I saw too many children think picture books were too easy and for “babies”. Pointing out many with very high vocabulary and discussing how much I love a good picture book brought many 4-5 graders back to the enjoyment and magic of a good picture book (or Everybody book).
I still read a good children’s book, picture books and young adult ones, as well as “frivolous” adult ones for myself. I just run out of time to waste for those I find tedious now.
Reading is “alive”. As a teacher, I want to encourage students to stretch themselves. However, it should first be pleasurable. Thanks for the great post.
Fabulous post, Tobey. I love what you have to say here, as a student who was A Really Good Reader as well. All too often I have seen exactly what you describe – students who struggle not wanting to try and students who are doing well not wanting to fail. Thanks for this. I will be thinking about the post for some time.
Fabulous post! This should be mandatory reading for all teachers and parents. We are all more than the number printed on those standardized test score sheets. It’s so important that students know and understand that.
What great timing after I just had a conversation with another teacher and her AR program-a test on EVERY book read and nobody is allowed to read ANYTHING that is not on their level. What message are we sending our kids???
Shannon
I Run Read Teach
I read this yesterday, but didn’t have time to comment, so I’m back today!
Tobey, I love how you weaved your reading life (similar to mine) and the ideas and research behind the fixed mindset. This is a trap we fall into – I’ve read Johnston work (summer book study on Twitter – #cyberPD) and try to work hard with my own two daughters and my students not to create that fixed mindset. Those words just spill out of my mouth. Thank you for the reminder to be careful what we say with our newest, developing, and successful readers! This will be a post I go back to over and over again.
Thank you and great first post! Are you ready to start a blog yet? 🙂
Michelle
Thought provoking and excellent…thank you for sending me on this important journey of reflection.
This post sounds exactly like my experiences in reading throughout my life. For me, it wasn’t until I enrolled in a reading theories class that I regained the importance of reading and the individual benefits that come from reading.
I now believe that in order to making a lasting impact on students and instill the value of reading to them, educators must first have a love for books that fills the air as they engage in any type of text with their students.
Awesome first blog that you have created and I honestly could not have picked a better blog to be my first to read in The Nerdy Book Club!