January
23
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A Reading Life…Interrupted by Teri S. Lesesne
My earliest memories are of reading. I recall the smell of Old Spice as my PopPop read me Pat the Bunny while we balanced in his wheelchair (he was diagnosed with MS the year I was born). I loved the rides via streetcar from our house to the Carnegie Library in downtown Pittsburgh. And then there was my stint as a neighborhood school marm who read aloud to the children who lived nearby. It seems as though it was a hop, skip, and jump from these activities to my now 40+ years as a teacher.
However, a phone call this past summer changed everything in an instant. “Teri, you have cancer,” was the simple sentence that was to interrupt my reading life in ways I could not fathom at the time. They tell you about losing hair, feeling weak, dealing with side effects. What they do not really talk about is a side effect that is devastating to those of us with powerful reading lives. For me, and for others, the inability to concentrate for any extended period of time means that the regular reading moments of my life virtually disappeared. Suddenly, my #bookaday habit became a #bookaweek and then a #bookamonth and then even worse, my #notabookread. As I neared the treatments, I had read more than 800 books. Since I entered chemo and radiation and surgery, that number stayed fairly steady. How did I deal with this interruption in my reading life?
I turned to friends who were either dealing with similar situations or who had survived the same interruption and were moving on to a new chapter in their reading lives. They had terrific advice. One piece of advice had nothing to do with the illness and treatment. I could recall hearing Donalyn Miller tell audiences over and over again hat sometimes our lives as readers have interruptions. We need to hold on knowing that we have a firm foundation, and that the reading life will, ultimately, resume. So, I turned off the panic mode. And I turned to picture books.
I could handle 32 pages in a day. Sometimes, I could read several picture books a day. Think for a moment what reading 5 picture books means: 5 books X 32 pages each += 160 pages. For someone whose reading life was sinking below the horizon, this accomplishment helped change my attitude about reading. ANY reading was good. And, of course, that meant other forms of reading were also good. I read more with my ears using audiobooks I had collected using the YA Sync offerings from this past summer. I listened to an NBA Finalist, The Sun Is Also a Star. I also read story collections featuring Junie B. Jones with my ears, and even found some informational books abut cancer which spoke to my needs at the time.
So, my reading life is still not back to what was normal B.C. (before cancer). But, I am still a reader. I love listening to stories. I am encountering some new forms and formats as I listen to adult offerings as well as books for children, tweens, and teens. My reading life has been interrupted. However, now it is changing and branching out, and growing. I relate all this not to simply talk about my own experience, but to remind myself that I am not alone in having a reading life interrupted. As I move into this new semester, I need to stay aware of how our reading lives might be interrupted. I need to be prepared to help others find a way back to a fuller reading life. And, most of all, I need to accept that an interruption is NOT an end to a reading life. Let me finish with a handful of books that sustained me this past year.
Du Iz Tak?
The Cat from Hunger Mountain
A Letter to my Teacher
There Is a Tribe of Kids
An Artist’s Alphabet
Teri Lesesne (rhymes with insane) teachers children and YA literature at Sam Houston State University in Texas. She is the author of 3 books and numerous chapters, articles, and columns about books and reading and is working on a forthcoming book with Donalyn Miller.
Nerdy Book Club 
I had the same experience when I went through chemo. I couldn’t concentrate and I became depressed, but when chemo stopped, I started to feel better. I picked up my reading again and my writing. I’m going full steam ahead now in both directions. It’ll come back, don’t worry. 🙂
I had major surgery on a herniated disc years ago. I remember someone saying that now I would have so much reading time, but pain meds made it impossible to concentrate. I turned to books on tape. I hope you are well on your way to healing and reading.
Teri, thank you so much for sharing with us. When my daughter was 4, I had become very ill and hospitalized for a month. I remember the same difficulty concentrating and did the same with my daughter and picture books. Even now when I have a pain flare(16 years later), I have trouble concentrating and will listen to some wonderful stories on my phone. I hope that you feel stronger with each day. Sending a gentle hug.
Thank you for sharing, Teri. I’m glad you found peace with your interruption. Sending love and healing vibes your way.
You are an inspiration, Teri. Thank you.
Teri, you and your books have been inspirational to me in my own reading life and in my teaching. I didn’t realize you were battling cancer, and send you love and good wishes. I appreciate how, even as you deal with your illness, you are able to add to our knowledge of and understanding of books and the reading life. Thank you for such a valuable lesson. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Your words are a strong testament to the power of reading in all the seasons of our lives. And now, I’m off to request a few new-to-me titles. Hugs and prayers for healing.
Thanks so much for sharing. I am a longtime fan of your professional books, and though I am relieved that I do not have to struggle with cancer, 30 years with MS has meant plenty of interruptions to my reading life. The most current is the result of age and worsening eyesight, as well as not being able to stay awake for my lifelong bedtime reading habit! I am happy to hear that you are on the mend, and even happier to hear of your renewed love for picture books. Picture books are a reflection of the world around us, and always have far more to say than the quantity of text contained within. When I find one I cannot live without, I purchase it immediately in the fear that it will go out of print! Long live the picture book.
Looking forward to reading the collaboration between you and Donalyn – that’s a winning combination.
Thank you, Teri. I experienced this inability to read when my daughter was very sick, and it was as painful and disorienting as you describe. I found myself looking at art, especially paintings–maybe akin to you and picture books. Wishing you health and many, many more books.
Wishing you healing and care! During my cancer years ago people sent me books but I could not read or focus. I also couldn’t handle any story that was dark or moody. I needed sunshine in my little bits of years. This fall I had a heart attack and found myself in the same situation. I have been mad at myself for not getting as many books read. Now I remember – your post helped me see again that after major events we need to step back and let all parts of us heal. Reading will return! Thanks for the reminder! Here is to reading even if it is a few picture books!
Great post, Teri. So sad to hear about the cancer and what you’re going through, but I love your attitude. And I love picture books, but I might not have thought about using them in this circumstance. Thanks for sharing!
God bless you, Teri. I’m thinking about the number of people who will reflect on and refer back to this when they need it in the future. Thank you for this and so much more.
I think this is a good reminder for all of us, Teri, that although our reading lives may change due to circumstances beyond our control (the period following my daughter’s premature birth comes to mind for me), we are still readers. And different doesn’t have to equal bad. I wish you healing and the reading life that works for you. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for sharing this, Teri. I’m glad to hear you are finding a way to do what you love so much while fighting cancer, too. I attended one of your seminars in Austin in 2007. I had just started working as a library assistant and your passion for books ignited in me a desire to read more and more so I could help our students discover books. I now have my MLS and my own reading life has changed so much through the years. I thought of you this morning while listening to the YMA live stream and am so glad to hear you’re doing well. Wishing you all the best!
Off to your first post C conference so you are on your way! Best of health every day my friend ❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
Sending healing thoughts your way. I write picture books and love them for so many reasons. You just gave me a new one! Be well.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Teri. I love that you turned to picture books when you needed that. This is a good reminder for teachers that students also have those interruptions in their reading lives due to many different circumstances.
Thinking of you, Teri. You are such an inspiration to us all!
Dr. Lesesne,
I have enjoyed listening to your presentations at conferences. I want to thank you for your article. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 2.5 years ago and have been struggling with the same issue. You put words to the frustration I have been feeling. I wish you well on your journey.
Your words, as well as your life, are inspirational, and even with this interruption, you continue to champion reading and books. Oh, the power of the picture book!!! I was so happy that Du Iz Tak? was awarded with a Caldecott Honor!!
Going thru similar experiences. One more
chemo in February. Reality TV was all I
Could follow. Praying for you.
Thinking of you, Teri.
Oh, I remember the same reading interruption when I was going through chemotherapy in 2014! I was planning to read during the 4 hour chemo treatment to pass the time. But as you mentioned, concentration was so difficult! I had to switch to less dense books, too — fewer pages, and fewer words on a page. I should have also tried recorded stories — but I just did not think of it.
I am happy to report that yes, your ability to focus and return to #bookaday, #bookaweek does happen. As a fellow reader and cancer survivor, I am happy that you addressed this in your blog so that others will have alternatives for their continued reading when in similar situations. Stay calm and READ!
Where do I begin with this wonderful post? You are a reader, and that has been your brass ring through cancer. Wow! You are my hero. My strength, or what I do, is reading-aloud children’s picture books. I was thrown into a completely different reading through my library; they asked if I would head an elementary aged book group. Cool! Yes! The first book I read was “The Year of Billy Miller” by Kevin Henkes. Oh, my!! Then I discovered Kate DiCamillo, and read every book she wrote (lucky me). “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio is a book everyone needs to read. I moved from picture books to YA books. Like you, I was in a different reading group. I am so glad. I think you are, too. Life has a way of steering your ship.
Dear Teri, what a heartfelt and moving post. I wasn’t able to write for 3-4 months while going through treatments for cancer. Before that, I’d rarely gone more than a day without writing. But I can assure you, it comes back. It all comes back. Can’t wait to meet you at a conference and give you a big high five, from one book-loving, badass cancer survivor to another.
What a moving and important post to share. Thank you.
There are many things in life that can push one of course temporarily. I hardly read at all the year we adopted two school aged children. Four years in, I’m reading more than ever.
Best wishes.
Thank you Dr. Lesesne for being an amazing inspiration!
It was a pleasure being your student in your LSSL 5360 LITERATURE FOR CHILDREN FALL, 2020. I am finishing this semester with you in mind. Although you are no longer with us, you still are very much a part of my journey being a student of the Sam Houston State University Library Science Masters Program (Class of Fall 2022).
Your grateful student,
Nicole Hope Garcia-Gonzalez!
R.I.P Professor Nana