April
28
Tags
I Can Do It Myself by Linda Urban
Years ago, when my son was a preschooler, I watched one of his classmates struggling to put on the many layers of snow gear that can sometimes be required for a Vermont recess. His mom hurried over to help him remove his leg from the armhole of his parka. “I can do it myself!” said the preschooler. And, eventually, he did well enough that he was able to join his pals outside.
I was reminded of him a few days later when I joined that same preschool class for circle time. Ms. Amy was reading The Little Red Hen. You remember The Little Red Hen, right? Hen has some planting to do and she asks her barnyard buddies for help.
“Who will help me sow the wheat?” she asked.
The response was less enthusiastic than she had hoped.
“Not I,” said the dog.
“Not I,” said the pig.
“Not I,” said the duck.
“Then I’ll do it myself,” said Little Red Hen. And she did.
The two moments echoed for me. That hen was persistent. To put it in contemporary lingo, she had grit. So, too, did that snowsuit battling preschooler. It struck me that while the traditional tale of The Little Red Hen is still very useful for underscoring the value of cooperation (Listen, dog, help or you’re going to miss out on fresh baguette at the end of the story), our contemporary preschoolers may find that developing independence is an even greater challenge. For all our talk about the value of grit and perseverance and learning through failure, we modern parents still have a hard time letting kids put on their own snowsuits. (Not to mention writing their own names on their papers, or doing their own homework, or explaining their own challenges to their teachers or . . . )
So began the idea for Little Red Henry – the story of a little boy who wants to do things for himself despite the protestations of his helicopter parents and siblings. On the day that Henry has simply had enough, he decides to make his own breakfast.
“Let me,” says Mama.
“Let me,” says Papa.
“Let me,” say his older siblings Mem and Sven.
“No thank you,” says Little Red Henry. “I can do it myself.” And he does.
The Little Red Hen would be proud, I think.
I’d like to tell you that I wrote Little Red Henry for that little snowsuited preschooler. I kinda did, I suppose. But mostly, I wrote it for myself. I needed the reminder to let my kids try and stumble and get up and try again. I needed to remind myself to be okay with spilled milk and stray Cheerios. Things might get done better or faster or more neatly if I did them, but I needed to remember that was the short view. Good parenting required lifting my head from the moment and taking the long view as often as possible.
I suppose that is why I think of this book as a family story. I hope that parents and kids will read it together. That moms and dads will find as much comfort and reassurance in it as kids find encouragement.
That preschooler in the snowsuit? You should have seen how proud he looked as he marched out to the playground. (It’s the same pride that Madeline Valentine captures so well in the Henry illustrations – wait ‘til you see them!) I don’t know if his mom was proud of herself, but I hope she was. I’m sure she noticed, as I did, that his boots were on the wrong feet. But the small mix-up wasn’t slowing him down him and she let him march on, watching as he made his own unique footprints in the snow.
Linda Urban is the award winning author of A Crooked Kind of Perfect, Hound Dog True, The Center of Everything, and the picture book Mouse Was Mad. At the moment, she is pretty darn thrilled by Madeline Valentine’s wry and engaging illustrations in their new picture book Little Red Henry and is looking forward to the Fall 2015 release of her next novel, Milo Speck, Accidental Agent. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two independent-minded children who do many things themselves, but won’t touch the laundry unless she bugs them about it.
CHECK OUT THE OTHER TWO TRIFECTA POSTS CELEBRATING LITTLE RED HENRY TODAY!
Click the image to go to Mr. Schu’s blog.
Click on the image to visit Mr. Sharp’s blog.
Nerdy Book Club 
That is so funny-I was just looking it up on Amazon. It is brand new- out today! I am happy to order from Amazon for us if we can’t get it from the library. It sounds so perfect!
Shauna
________________________________
Linda, Congratulations and much success with Little Red Henry. When my husband and I were applying to kindergarten for our son, the concept of “grit” came up a lot and I still think about it from time to time. What helps a kid not quit and keep going when the tough get going. Terrific post!
Oh, oh, oh! Two things I adore in one place: a fractured fairy tale and a Linda Urban book. My nine-year-old’s reaction upon hearing my squee and the title: “I NEED to read that now.”
As an aside, my K’s really resonate with Little Red Hen retellings. From the look of concentrated determination on their face when they work on a technology project or writing their letters, they understand about the rewards of hard work. Still, they object to the hen’s cool dismissal of her friends: “She should still be nice and share, even if they didn’t help.” I talk about logical consequences, but still, I admire their kindness, and pull out Sturges’ The Little Red Hen Makes A Pizza as a gentler alternative.
This is a wonderful reminder and inspiration to parents who sometimes forget the importance of teaching independence (as mom to a 2 and 6-year-old, I am definitely guilty of the whole, “Dear lord, we’ve been getting ready to leave the house for the last 25 minutes, just let me help get you dressed/brush hair/pack bags”). And you’re also right about the importance of the pride that comes (on both sides) when children try things for themselves and are able to really own their accomplishments (and to own any “mistakes” for that matter… there have been a lot of shoes happily put on the wrong feet over the years in my house :)). The book sounds great! (and I’m already looking forward to Milo Speck!)
I totally agree with you about letting the young ones try for themselves. But it is sometimes hard. I have 3 young grandchildren living with me right not a 1,2 and 3 year old. The 3 year old want to do everything herself now. I am learning patience especially with the mess she can make sometimes. But I know from past experience that with my 3 sons the one who wanted to do everything himself did better in school when he got older. The son who always wanted my help and I gave it, still wanted my help when he was older. So I feel that it is good to let them make mistakes. They do learn from it. When you have to go somewhere just start getting ready a little sooner.
There you are, Linda Urban! Congratulations on this new book. I just mentioned you over the week-end at NE conference. Love your books.
Thank you, Linda! This is just the book I need right now to remind me that my five year old can do lots of things for herself!
Congrats, Linda! This is SO important…being a retired teacher, I had my fill of helicopter parents…most times they are doing the best they can…but picture books are such a GREAT way to get things across…even to parents! I’ll be getting this one for the grandloves…and their parents. =)
Well said Jean. I teach 8th grade and have tons of helicopter parents. It is tough to get them to cut the apron strings. This book might be a new required reading for all 8th grade parents at my school. I sometimes wonder at what age the child will make decisions and is it a plan so the parent is needed forever. I can’t wait to show this book to a few of my helicopter friends!
Check out this video on UTube: Worry About Yourself! 3/21/2013 posted by Ryan Hunley. It goes well with the message in Little Henry. So Funny!
I can’t wait to read this book, Linda! As the parent of a preschooler, I’m constantly faced with doing it for her fast and letting her do it, sometimes correctly, on her own. Lately I’ve been going with the latter and our loves are a lot less contentious. She’s proud of herself and I can live with the way she does things. Maybe I’m mellowing… Regardless, I know I’d love to read Little Red Henry with my daughter.
I love the sound of this. It reminded me of my years working in an infant school. When they started school, most children could dress themselves, after a fashion, when it came to indoor clothes. The difficulties came with shoes and coats. I think parents tried to let their children develop their independence but ran out of patience by the time they needed to leave the house. Children were thrust into their jackets and boots and dragged out the door with no chance to practice the fitting and fastenings. It made break, lunch and home time hard going for the first few weeks.
Grit is required this time of year in education. With learners’ minds on the upcoming summer vacation and educators preoccupied with their next endeavor, it is a sweet escape to simply delve into the curriculum and lose oneself in it.
I missed this on the day you posted it, Linda, but I love this book. I can’t wait to have it here in my library!