Embarrassed to Read by Donalyn Miller
A recent National Literacy Trust report found that 17% of children surveyed would be embarrassed if their friends saw them reading. According to a dictionary, “Embarrassment is an emotional state of intense discomfort with oneself, experienced upon having a socially unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others.” Embarrassment is tied to our need for social acceptance. If you have ever chased a naked toddler, you know that children aren’t born with an understanding of socially acceptable behaviors and must learn them from people who understand society’s rules.
So, where do children learn that reading is embarrassing?
Children receive the message that reading a lot isn’t cool from adults. When parents don’t model reading, teachers consider reading a school job, and communities and schools close or defund libraries—we communicate to children that reading isn’t important.
In modern society, children’s future success depends on their acquisition of literacy skills. Children must learn to read and write in order to achieve an education and perform job and life functions that require accessing and communicating information. Possession of fundamental literacy falls within our social norms. There seems to be a line, however, between reading well enough and reading as a leisure pursuit. It’s OK for children to read when called upon, but if they would rather read than watch TV or play outside, they are social outliers.
I fight this perception that reading is nerdy with my students every year. I make it my mission to entice the most popular kids with great books and positive reading experiences because I know that if I can show them that reading is cool, other kids will want to read, too.
As adults, those of us who love books and reading often gravitate toward other readers. We join a reading tribe like Nerdy Book Club or find a career that supports our passion. If we want children to read more, we must provide them with classrooms, libraries, and homes where enjoying reading is a social norm.
If cultural acceptance includes reading, then children will read. If reading isn’t valued, they won’t. Why would anyone read if they receive overt and implied messages that reading is weird? Reading shouldn’t be an extraordinary act performed by a bookish few who stand outside of mainstream culture. Reading should be as ordinary as bread.
When we promote books to children and share our reading lives with them, we offer more than another great book recommendation—we invite children into a society where reading and readers are valued. Society benefits when more people read, but we have to show children that our culture values it.
People who read avidly as adults do so because we enjoy it. Along with everything else children must learn about how to read, we can’t overlook the importance of teaching them why we read when society doesn’t demand that we read much at all.
Donalyn Miller is a fourth grade teacher at Peterson Elementary in Fort Worth, TX. She is the author of The Book Whisperer: Awakening the Inner Reader in Every Child. Donalyn co-hosts the monthly Twitter chat, #titletalk (with Nerdy co-founder, Colby Sharp), and facilitates the Twitter reading initiative, #bookaday.
Nerdy Book Club 
Thanks for the powerful reminder about creating an environment where books and reading are always valued.
Kevin
I completely agree with you in that we as adults; especially professional adults, should model reading for children. Reading is something you have to learn to love. You have to experiment with different types of books before you can fall in love with it. I am a classroom teacher who takes the last 10 minutes of every day to read to my class. I think it is important to see not only do we read for knowledge but we can also read for pure enjoyment.
Fantastic post! This year I have 19 fifth graders and at least 5 at every recess time, grab a book and sit side by side among the trees reading happily. It is absolutely beautiful. I will join them next week. I hope the trend grows!
This is such a powerful and timely reminder that parents and teachers MUST serve as models of “readerly and writerly” lives. While reading (and writing) in the future will likely be far more technology driven and there may be fewer printed texts, the role of reading in our society is becoming even MORE important as our students will need to become their own critical consumers of knowledge in a world where they will likely need to reinvent themselves many times. It’s NOT just for NERDS anymore! Now that would be a great poster!
Thank you for the wonderful post. I completely agree that we need to not only show students how to read but WHY to read. Daily independent reading has been a great way for educators at my school to open up their reading lives to students and create a culture of readers. It’s just as important for teachers to model their reading experiences in front of students as it is parents.
When I taught fifth grade, my students loved reading. It broke my heart to see some of them move into a sixth grade class where the teacher valued technology. He believed it was unnecessary for students to check books out of the library, so the avid readers I sent him became computer wizards who didn’t read. The librarian complained his class never checked out books. He’s gone now, though, and I teach sixth grade. The students beg me for more reading time. Yes!
I accept this mission with an open heart and open ears for finding that just right book that will turn a kid into a reader! Great article Donalyn!
Thank you for sharing. I posted a link to this post on my Facebook page. I discovered a love for reading when I was young. I am not sure how it came about. My grandmother must have recognized my avid reading. She opened a line of credit for me (charged to her) at a bookstore within walking distance from my home. That really gave me the freedom to read and read and read. It was terrific and I am so grateful.
I am hoping some parents might be sharing my crazy travel adventures blog with their kids. I include photos and try not to overdo it on words (try…).
I try and hit up my generation of grandparents with suggestions for neat books they can read with their grandchildren, and ask kids I meet what they have read recently to find out if I can suggest something they might like. I’m not even a teacher by profession, or a librarian, I just like to share what I love about books, magazines, newspapers, anything with words. We can all do something about making reading exciting and not embarrassing by engaging other people. You should have seen the excitement at the gas station last week when some folks saw some of us old guys who drink coffee there before sunrise standing out on the pavement looking at the sky. “What are you doing?” people in their cars asked. “We’re watching the International Space Station go over.” “Really?” Folks got out of their cars and acted like little kids, all excited about seeing something for the first time. That’s the kind of reaction we want by sharing what we love.
This is my second year using the 40 Book Challenge from your book. When I read your book, it really resonated with everything I was doing in my classroom and how I felt about my students. You are so right about kids being embarrassed to read out loud, especially by the 4th grade where the gap widens. My kids favorite part of the 40 Book Challenge is doing the Book Commercials. It has really inspired my students to broaden what they are reading and create a culture of reading in my classroom. It would be fun to Twiter, Skype, or blog with your 4th grade class about books we love. Let me know if you are interested.
Thank you for your inspiring post. I try hard in my fourth grade class to show how “cool” reading really is by following your lead.
Proud to be a reading nerd alongside you and thousands others on this site, Donalyn. If I don’t take my passion for reading into my classroom each morning, not many will follow. It is job 1. 😉
Reblogged this on Harvest Park Middle School Library and commented:
Great blog post!
I definitely support this message of showing students why we read and doing everything in our power to put the right book in the right reader’s hands. When my students reflected after their first day of school, the majority mentioned somewhere in their writing a statement along the lines of “Mr. Jensen loves to read.” As the year has continued, students from other classes have trickled into my room when they hear about a book from a friend or see one on my ‘Recent Reads’ poster and they ask, timidly, if they are allowed to borrow a book. Of course they are, and they can tell their friends, too.
A point of contention I have is that this post is being made in the “Nerdy Book Club.” I have followed many posts on this blog and love all of the ideas and passion that come from the contributors, but isn’t calling it ‘nerdy’ causing the members to seem like the “social outliers” mentioned in the post? Doesn’t it actually support the following question and answer?
“So, where do children learn that reading is embarrassing?
Children receive the message that reading a lot isn’t cool from adults.”
Maybe the point is that you are taking a word like nerdy that has a negative connotation and turning it into something good; I have done this in the past with a book club of students during lunch who became known as The Bookworms and they created pins on which they had drawn worms reading books. It was a cool thing to be a bookworm.
I don’t know. Maybe I have answered my own question. Or maybe someone can do a better job of helping me understand. Either way, I love the message of the post and will continue my efforts to not only get more children reading but also more adults, too.
As creators of the Nerdy blog, Colby and I set out to reclaim the word nerdy for ourselves and embrace the label in an attempt to counter negative stereotypes.
I appreciate so very much your blogs, many of which I have enthusiastically passed on to colleagues, friends, and family members. I am passionate about the power of reading, and, at the risk of sounding like a total Miller-groupie (which, actually, I probably am), I don’t think I have ever read one of your blogs that I didn’t agree with and get encouragement from.
However (could you tell there was a however coming?), I continue to have concern over calling ourselves nerds, and through that, calling our students who love reading, or are just adventuring into reading, nerds. Here’s one dictionary’s definitions of nerd: 1. a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person.
2. an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit.
Instead of putting myself and my reading students in a fringe, and labeling it nerdy, why shouldn’t I model a reading life to my students and call it normal?
I work in an elementary school, with students who are usually quite concrete in their thinking. Am I going to encourage and entice, ply and probe each of those students, seeking to hook them on reading, and then tell them their nerds? Not I.
Reblogged this on Cup of Tea Reading.
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What a great article and mission! Have you seen this site – Cypress Park Branch Library’s “Strike A Reading Pose” initiative (http://cypressparklapl.blogspot.com/2012/02/strike-reading-pose.html). It features folks of all ages and ethnicities – all reading!
Great post, Donalyn! Reading is such a fun and powerful tool for learning, but an undervalued activity in many homes. My husband and I are the only ones who buy our nephews and niece books for Christmas, but if we don’t try, they may never discover how much fun reading is. We must create an environment where reading is valued if we want to inspire our kids to reach their full potential and improve society.
Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
You have NO idea how your book transformed my ELA classroom! A colleague and I read your book and followed your lead with the classroom library and required reading of 40 books. The results are in my students levels of achievement and new found love for reading. Last year my four classes combined read over 4,400 books! Thank you for sharing your expertise with us. I have shared your book, The Book Whisperer, many times over with other ELA teachers.