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The Grandparent Effect by Carrie Gelson
Two years ago, I taught a little boy named Emilio in Grade 3. In his first week of Grade 4, Emilio showed up at my door every day at 3 p.m. He would stand there and give me a big smile, sometimes a hug and tell me quite seriously, “I really miss this class.” When I asked him what he missed, I thought he might say that he missed choices time at the end of the day or the picture books we shared together or maybe even that he missed me. Nope. “I miss Mr. and Mrs. Gelson.” He didn’t even need to think about it. Mr. and Mrs. Gelson are my parents. They come in every Tuesday afternoon to listen to my students read. They sit outside my room at a long table that holds two big baskets of carefully selected picture books. Children take turns having their reading time throughout the afternoon. This reading time with two very special volunteers is what Emilio missed.
When Emilio started Grade 3, he recognized seven letters and knew two sounds. He was not a reader. But he loved books. Every week, Mr. or Mrs. Gelson, read to Emilio. Often, once he was out in the hallway, he wouldn’t come back in. He sat and listened to other children read stories. He asked questions. He got Mr. Gelson telling him about his life and had Mrs. Gelson laughing as he asked for favourite books to be read and reread. They all giggled over silly stories, pretended to scare each other on a spooky page and shared quiet moments when a book touched their hearts. Out in my hallway, on any given Tuesday afternoon, Emilio was gifted by what I have come to call the “Grandparent Effect.”
I teach at an inner city school in Vancouver, B.C. characterized by high child and family poverty. Many of my students have not had early literacy experiences. Nobody read to them at bedtime. They never attended library story times. There are few, if any, books in their homes. Families have limited income and limited time. Many parents are working multiple jobs, learning a new language and caring for a family with limited resources. Read aloud time is a luxury many families cannot afford.
Many of my students also do not have grandparents around. Grandparents live in another city or another country and visits are few and far between. I have students in my class being raised by a grandparent so their grandparent is in a parental role. The lovely experience of story time with Grandma and Grandpa that my own children were raised with has not been experienced by most of my students.
Fortunately, I have two amazing parents who have brought their grandparent love to my classroom. They share it through the magic of books with each of my students every week. As teachers, we know that it is a rare moment when we can just sit with one child and enjoy the experience of having a story read to us by an eager little reader. We are always scanning the room to make sure others are on task, we are taking mental or physical notes about the child’s reading skills and needs, or we are thinking about which book we are going to recommend next to this child. It is hard to turn off our teacher brain. We have a job to do with these little readers. Grandparents, though, have the gift of time. The time to give to each child with their full focus and attention. The time to go off on a tangent and answer a million questions or share connections. The time to read a story again and again just because it was that great. The time to joke and cuddle and coax and smile.
Last year, when I told Mr. and Mrs. Gelson that Emilio missed them (missed them so much, he showed up every day at my door to tell me so) they started coming in a half an hour earlier to read to Emilio, grabbing him from his new class before they began with my students. This year, in Grade 5, half an hour of reading with Mr. and Mrs. Gelson is still part of Emilio’s Tuesday routine. In these past few years at our school, Emilio has been getting daily direct instruction in decoding skills. Slowly but surely, Emilio has been learning to read. This Tuesday, Emilio read The Enormous Potato (written by Aubrey Davis) two times through. How do I know this? Two excited “grandparents” cannot stop gushing about it. “Emilio read the whole thing!” “Twice!” “He can sound out anything!” “He really perseveres.” “I just can’t believe it. He has come so far.” “Remember where he started?” “Emilio is a reader!”
I do my best to promote a love of reading in my room: daily read alouds, buddy reading, book talks, library visits, reading instruction, free choice reading . . . . But, one of the best things I do is to stand back and be in awe of how the “grandparent effect” helps associate reading books with love and happy experiences. I believe if we want to create lifelong readers, anything we do to make this association is a gift we give to our students.
I have shared this story of Emilio and my other little readers to remind us all that the magic of reading shared between generations does not just need to happen in our homes. And if it never happened, it isn’t too late. Find your students some eager seniors to come in and create your own “Grandparent Effect.” Everyone benefits.
Carrie Gelson teaches Grades 2 and 3 in Vancouver B.C. She is always looking for ways to share the love of reading with her students and shares highlights of her reading and teaching journey at There’s a book for that Find her on twitter at @CarrieGelson.
Your post moved me. Such gifts for Emilio and for Mr. and Mrs. Gelson to give to one another. Thank you for sharing this, I needed a reminder about how important our work with children is and what profound impacts we can have when we put them first and find a way to give them what they need. I can only imagine the warmth and safety of your classroom.
beautiful! you are so lucky to have such wonderful parents and your students are even luckier- how very special. thanks for sharing!
Thanks Cheryl! I think we all feel pretty lucky to share all of the reading happiness that is created on Tuesday afternoons!
Yes! “putting children first and giving them what they need” I try to find a moment everyday where I can stop and celebrate all of the important little moments. I can do this easily on Tuesday afternoons watching Emilio with my parents! Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
Your post made me cry! What a blessing for all- Emilio, your mom and dad, all of the other kids, and you. I’m hoping you have shared this post with your mom and dad– it would make a great Christmas present!
Thanks Carol. This post was intended to be a little bit of a gift to my parents to honour the important difference they make every week. It is a very special relationship that they have with my students.
Wow-crying before 6 am! This is so wonderful-please hug your parents for me today. As well as Emilio.
It would be my pleasure! Thanks!
Great post Carrie! Wonderful way to start my day. Thank you
I am so pleased that you enjoyed it Gigi. I have been wanting to share this story for a while 🙂
I cried as well. Excellent post!
I appreciate all of this lovely feedback. Thanks so much!
A number of years ago my teaching partner and I were doing a history project with our class. Writing to their grandparents was part of it. One of the girls couldn’t send a letter to her’s so I arranged for her to write my mother. That began a relationship between the two of them that continued long after she had left my classroom.
I think it was Margaret Mead who said something to the effect that you can tell a civilization is nearing its end when they separate the old people from the young.
Thanks for the reminder of how important it is that we fight this.
Wow, thanks for such a beautiful comment. I agree – there is real magic that is created between generations. I feel very lucky to be witness to this in my room each week.
Thank you so much for sharing this story! I got all goosebumpy and teary – the same way I get when our reading coaches talk about the connection they have with their students and their joy in seeing them become “readers.” There is simply nothing like it. Of our 800+ plus volunteers who read weekly with students during the school year, probably 95% are “grandparents” (the ones you always wanted) and the impact they have is nothing short of miraculous. I know what we do helps change kids’ lives, but the most beautiful thing is too see the change in our volunteers after a few months or sometimes a year of coaching. They have found a new purpose, and new source of joy and it is amazing.
Thank you so much for sharing this Tamara. How amazing to have so many grandparents and children benefitting from the joy of reading stories together and building such lovely relationships.
Fabulous story. Congrats to Emilio.
Emilio is kind of a rock star. I must admit 🙂
That is so lovely-now that I hear about your parents I can see why you are who you are!
Thank you Meredyth! My parents are very special people!
Having just lost my dad in March….this really hit home. Thanks for reminding us all of the power of generations reaching out to each other — and how wonderful that Emilio reached out to reconnect with your parents. It shows, of course, their important influence but also his strength to recognize what he needed.
Absolutely, I think it was fabulous that Emilio was clear about what was important to him. I am happy that this resonated with you – I hope to inspire some happy memories.
Love your post – and your parents!
Thanks Katherine! My parents mean the world to me. They give so much and are so humble about it. It is a very special relationship they have with my students.
Thank you so much for sharing this special story!
Thanks Erika! I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to share it here amongst such a devoted community of readers!
Is it piling on to say that your post made me a little “leaky”?
My mom came in once to hear the profiles that my students wrote on a relative. She still talks about it. She is my #1 supporter. That makes me realize how important it is for my students to have that in their lives.
I think “leaky” is just lovely. I am a sucker for any book that has a well done intergenerational relationship and part of that is because I see the power in the role my parents play in my own children’s lives and also in the lives of my students. Thanks for your comment 🙂
Loved this! I love being reminded that reading wasn’t always a solitary endeavor–that someone used to sit with me for hours, sounding out the words, bringing life to this two dimensional text through funny voices and facial expressions. My love for reading definately stems from those experiences as a child and I think it’s so important that we remember that to really inspire a love of reading in children, we have to spend that individual time cultivating a relationship with each other as well as with books.
Exactly! I think so many of us that have happy memories of childhood reading have memories of both the books and also the people we shared them with! And when we associate reading with happiness, we continue to read. I love watching my students skip out of the room to read with my parents! Joy all around. Thanks for your comment.
Thanks for writing this beautiful post. My mother returned to teaching when I was a third grader. She was shocked to discover several students who couldn’t read in her fourth grade class. This was way before anyone talked about dyslexia, but she taught all of those kids to read, and one of them never forgot how she changed his life. When she was in her late 80s and in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s, Bobby visited her every week. Many of the staff assumed he was her son.
Wow, thank YOU for sharing this story. The connections to those who give us the joy of reading and the love of books run deep.
Dearest Carrie,
Loved your story about the power of love and compassion….Emilio is lucky to have two people who are madly in love with him….your parents are very special people and no doubt Emilio’s life will be forever changed by this special relationship….very inspiring and so true that each generation has so much to offer the next….thank you for sharing your beautiful story and for sharing your beautiful parents….I agree with the other comments…. it is no accident that you are such a special woman yourself!
Fran thank you for the lovely comment. The relationships between generations are special ones. I feel lucky to be able to have the opportunity to help facilitate this special reading time each week. And of course, pretty lucky to have my parents!
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